1.Log on, wait a sec, then get a = frightened=20 look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. =
=20 2.Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and = look=20 suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3.When your = computer is=20 turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn = thing to=20 work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5
    = minutes,turn it=20 off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
= 4.Type=20 frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evily. =
=20 5.Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different = screen=20 than the one it's set up with.
6.Write a program that plays = the=20 "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over = & over=20 again.
7.Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly = startled=20 by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
= 8.Ask the=20 person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon = files.=20
9.Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't = know.=20
10.Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you = turn it=20 on.
11.Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why = you have=20 it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12.Type on VAX for a = while.=20 Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. = Then=20 stop and continue typing.
13.Enter the lab, undress, and start = staring=20 at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14.Light = candles in=20 a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15.Ask = around for a=20 spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a = disk out of=20 your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
16.Every time you press = Return and=20 there is processing time required, pray = "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and=20 scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17."DISK FIGHT!!!" =
18.Start=20 making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you = know=20 them, but this is also a great way to make new friends). =
19.Put a=20 straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting = the keys=20 with the straw.
20.If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin = around=20 singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time = required.=20
21.Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape = it to=20 your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain = loudly=20 that
    women (men) are worthless.
22.Try = to stick=20 a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disk drive. When it doesn't work, = get the=20 supervisor.
23.When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it = on, ask=20 loudly where the smiling Apple face is.
24.Print out the = complete=20 works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that = all you=20 wanted was one line.
25.Sit and stare at the screen, biting = your nails=20 noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the = person=20 next to you.
26.Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, = look at=20 the person next to you, grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you = never=20 provoke the person enough
    to let them blow up, as = this=20 releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.=20
27.If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split = ends,=20 cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.=20
28.Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal = Family on=20 your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29.Come to = the lab=20 wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of = the=20 monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape = them
    around=20 the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton = on=20 plastic.
30.Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type = up your=20 paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the = bad=20 working
    conditions.
31.Laugh = hysterically, shout=20 "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working. =
32.Bring some=20 dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. =
33.Assign a=20 musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F = sharp,=20 etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an=20 entire
    paper this way.
34.Attempt to eat = your=20 computer's mouse.
35.Borrow someone else's keyboard by = reaching over,=20 saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the = keyboard=20 & taking it.
36.Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.=20
37.When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that = sometimes=20 the old ways are best.
38.Play Pong for hours on the most = powerful=20 computer in the lab.
39.Make a loud noise of hitting the same = key over=20 and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit = the=20 space bar so your fill isn't
    affected). Then look = at your=20 neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an = entire=20 word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your*
    delete = key=20 work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your = keyboard. Keep=20 doing this until you've deleted about a page of = your
   =20 neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've = been=20 hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't=20 deleting!
    Ha!" Print out your document and leave.=20
40.Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab = monitor=20 and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put = some
    Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. = Claim that=20 the computer is drooling.)
41.Stare at the person's next to = your's=20 screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" = loudly.=20 Keep laughing, grab your stuff and
    leave, howling = as you=20 go.
42.Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while = making=20 elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, = then=20 leap back and
    yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from = under=20 the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this = time,"=20 and calmly start to type
    again.
43.Keep = looking=20 at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44.See who's = online. Send a=20 total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all = your=20 lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure = out
   =20 you're a total stranger.
45.Bring an small tape player with a = tape of=20 really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really = lost.=20
46.Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain = that the=20 lead doesn't work.
47.Come into the computer lab wearing = several=20 endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a = sentence,=20 then laugh happily, exclaim
    "You're such a = marvel!!", and=20 kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy = mounts, also=20 hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your
    neighbor, then = the=20 computer assistant, and walk out.
48.Run into the computer = lab, shout=20 "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.=20
49.Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker=20 chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and = say,=20 "Give me that
    computer or you'll be feeding my pet = crocodile for the next week".
50.Two words: Tesla Coil. =